what he means
by ijustloveyouso
Summary: who is he to me? a brother? colleague? what does he mean to me?


What he means

I have to give Zero my blood, if that can help him not to transform into a level E, then I would certainly give him all the blood he needs. I've already made up my mind. I would protect him no matter what. I say that, and yet here I am, a hopeless fool always having to be protected all the time.

_'When will you come back, Zero? How are you doing, I wonder.'_

And the night class' dorm door just opened. The girls went berserk once more. And now I'm all alone in doing my job. And the girls pushed me and I stumbled, until somebody caught me in their arms.

"Kaname-sa"

I was cut off when I saw my savior's face. _Zero_. What happened to him when I wasn't there beside him? Did he suffer?

"Okairi-nasai, Zero-kun"(Welcome home, Zero)

"Tadaima" (I'm home)

And here he is standing right before my eyes. So many questions were flooding my mind. And still I haven't thought about an answer to his question before.

'_What am I to you, Yuuki?'_

Just what is he to me? When I first saw him, he was all covered in blood; I didn't even know he was bitten by the lady vampire. Later on, I saw him scratching his neck letting them bleed. That time, I suddenly felt protective of him, I told him to stop it and that everything would just be fine because I'll always be by his side. Was it because I wanted to be friends with him?

When Kaname-sama came to our house once, I hugged him oh so tightly as usual. I was going to introduce him to Zero but he shrugged me away when I was about to touch him telling me not to touch him with the same hands I touch Kaname-sama with. Of course I was hurt when I heard that from him. He dislikes the Kaname-sama I admired very much, the guy who had saved me from death. Yet I'm still afraid of him, I'm afraid of vampires. Even though I admired Kaname-sama I realized right from the beginning that he was on a different level than me. After all, he is a vampire and I'm just a mere human. Sometimes I wonder what he likes so much about me except from my blood. Was I just another snack for him to feed on?

Enough about Kaname-sama, when I learned that Zero was a human but was transforming into a vampire. I wonder why I'm not afraid of him. I fear Kaname-sama so much, when he has, in fact saved my life yet I don't feel any fear at all about Zero, who indeed was just a vampire like him. I even let him suck blood from me.

So what is Zero to me? A friend? No. I feel that he is more than that. A brother? No. He seems like that to me but I never really thought of him as one. A companion? No. Well, we have spend a lot of times together and he was there when I felt weak but I think he is more than just that. A colleague? No. although it's true that we are both prefects, or guardians I don't see him as just a colleague.

Zero is the person who always looks out for me, just like Cross Kaien, the one who treated me as his own daughter. He is the one who fights trying to be a level E because; after all he does hate vampires. I never noticed before and it was too late when I realized how much he hated himself because he was a vampire. I know it also hurts him that his brother, Kiryuu Ichiru has gone off with the woman who killed their entire family. I only let Zero drink my blood because it calms him down and prevents him from being a level E. I'd do anything for him not to become like that, except for him transferring to the night class. I know how much he loathes vampires so I don't want him to suffer by transferring. He has always protected me, though I think Kaname-sama also have. But Zero is different; I feel that he actually cares. Kaname-sama, I'm still wondering up till now why he was there on that snowy night when a vampire suddenly showed up. I wonder why he had rescued me. Zero, is a man of his words, he is a quiet and composed type of person but he actually cares. And when he said he'd come back, he did.

But the question still isn't answered. What does Zero means to me?

I guess I'll never really understand what he really means, but maybe for now I'll settle for the answer I've just realized. He does his best to fight his vampire instinct, and I don't feel frightened even when I look at his vampire red eyes. He has opened up to me on a pretty few times. He suddenly feels possessive of me sometimes, but I know he only does that because he cares for me. I don't want to see him lonely nor do I want to see him in pain. And plus, Zero knows me the best. He knows when I fake my laugh or when my smile, he knows just what to say to brighten up my mood. He says he only wants to see me smile from the bottom of my heart but that's also what I want to see from him. I want to see him smile, just like he had before. Maybe he still haven't moved on from his past, maybe he still wants to be with Ichiru, maybe he still loathes Kaname-sama, but I don't care anymore. I like the way he is right now, gentle, caring, over possessive and yet over protective. Ichiru told me that Zero likes me but I never really noticed that.

I know that I've said before that I don't care even if Kaname-sama betrays me. But right now, all I think about is how to protect Zero, my admiration for Kaname-sama is slowly fading. Right now, Kaname-sama is simply a person who had saved my life in the nick of time. He is nothing else but a _savior_ to me.

But Zero…..

He's a lot different….

I still can't answer the question…

But I've realized something, he, Zero Kiryuu means _a lot_ to me.

-Fin-


End file.
